On, Off, Pop, P-U

 So the Cookies are in the new house, and we are getting back to this part of "moving" life that we live. 

We work.  And we work hard. And we unpack a few boxes at a time, and we get into the "wet hair, apply, rinse, repeat" cycle of life.  And laundry. Dear God the Unending Laundry.

But yesterday morning, Cookie started working on some things in the primary bath.  Put away this, move that,  install a towel bar, scrub, scrub, scrub.  That's when Cookie noticed that the four-way gang switches are greasy dirty gunk left by the former owners and full of dusty, cruddy dirt.  

So Cookie gets a screw driver, and begins to remove the eight screws that hold said plate in place.  

Now, I couldn't find an image of our wall switch plate because ours is chrome, chosen by the previous owner - and very antiseptic looking - so this will have to work:

Yes, all of the wall plate and outlet cover screws are aligned in my house, up and down.

This wall switch operates the:

1) Bathroom ceiling light,
2) The lights over the counter with the sinks,  aka Vanity Light,
3) the Stall Shower light (which is actually on the opposite wall from the vanity, and the
4) Bathroom Fan.   

I should add in that because the primary bath was originally built as a Jack-n-Jill bath, their is another single switch on the far side of the bathroom that is just inside the door to the adjoining bedroom. 

And Cookie is not going in to play with the guts of the switches, because Cookie is smart.  But I was going to dry dust the back of the plates and use a microfiber towel to Mr. and Mrs. Former owners grease and dirt off the switches. 

So, with the lights all on, and starting on the right, I unscrew the screw below the Fan (4) switch, above the Fan switch, remove the screw below the Stall Shower switch - and everything is fine.  Then I start to remove the screw above the stall shower switch - one turn, two turns, three tur...and the lights over the Vanity go out.  

Now, this shouldn't happen.  And I said what I normally say when something FUBAR happens: "That's odd."

So what does Cookie do? Well, I stopped unscrewing it and instead turned the screw a quarter turn to the right to tighten it, and the Vanity Light goes back on.

I pull back the screw driver, step back and tell The Husband what happened.  Being a man, he wants to make that happen.  So and so he does, and it does the same thing.  And he says "It shouldn't do that."

He looks at me, and I look at him and we both say, "Call the electrician."

Now, I have worked with electricity when it works the way it should, but I am smart enough to know that when you have this much wrong going on to call a licensed electrician.  

This is the type of shit that can spark and burn the house down.

So our electrician ambles over with his helper, and I explain what is happening and he gets a puzzled look on his face.  So, up we go.  And I show him and his helper.  Now, this guy is really good.  He's been doing this for a long while.  But he got this weird look on his face and said "What the Hell?"

Then he said, "Can I try that?" I handed him the insulated screw driver, and he twisted it and there go the lights.  He turns it the other way, and the lights come back on.

I explained that the lights that went off were on the opposite wall of the lights controlled by the switch.

And then I get a "Well, that's odd" from the electrician.

"Let's get that cover off and get a good look at this."  

He unscrews the remaining screws, starts to take the UL rated metal plate down, and first a bright flash, then a puff of smoke and the smell of OZONE, and the whole house trips off.  The electrician is fine, but he did say, "I didn't see that coming."

We reset the breaker, the house comes back online, and he starts taking everything apart. 

What he sees is a rat's nest of old and new wires, jumpers, and a ground attached to a neutral.  That gets a "God damn it!" 

We made the right call. 

Long story short, whoever the previous owner hired to do this electrical work when they had the bath remodeled didn't know what he was doing, and it could have fried us or caught the house on fire.   

So two hours and 200 dollars later, and a "You got the discount I give people when I see something really botched that your home inspector never would have caught," we are in good stead.  

HOWEVER, they are coming back to go over the kitchen outlets, which were also part of the remodel.                             

Looks like we made it!

 

We are exhausted as all get out, but the Husband and Cookie have made it through the move, the selling of the old house, the closing, etc., and so on. 

Simply put, the next move out of this house is to either assisted living or the mortuary. 

We are not doing this again. 

Well maybe, if we win the lottery. 

A really big lottery. 

The people who bought the former Chateau Cookie have settled in.  We were able to pass them our boxes, wrapping paper, etc., so at least the boxes were recycled. 

The old house was listed for sale at noon on a Friday.  By 3PM, it was sold. You read that right.  

This is the second fast sale that we've had.  One trip through the place and a young couple with lots of enthusiasm put in an offer on the spot. 

Once the dust settled I kept checking the paper to make sure the property here transferred and there transferred as well.  

Verily, Sweet Smoking Jesus 
Was looking out for us.

And one day, Sweet Smoking Jesus, it was in.  Officially, and for the nosey, the properties were listed in the daily paper as transferred.

We did have some bumps on our end.  Like not being able to unpack as quickly as possible because "things" came up. 

It seems that we have fallen into the trap of buying houses that are being sold by long-term residents who are elderly, and they overlook things.  Like the body oil caught up in steam that sticks to the bathroom walls, and the crusted gunk that forms in the ovens and around the range.  And then there is the water filter and charcoal air filter in the fridge that I dare not describe lest I incarnate a reunion of Kim and Aggie. 

Needless to say for the last 12 weeks we've been busy.  Very very busy. 

Now I am back.