Stop needling me.

 

Cookie gets allergy shots because those 12 years in Baltimore really did a number on me. 

I had a great allergist in Baltimore with fantastic office assistants. After moving to Cleveland, I had a heck of a time finding an allergist who was accepting new patients.   When I found one, we needed to start the series of shots from the basement (Weekly) and build me back up to Monthly. 

If you get them, you appreciate someone who knows how to give them.  Done the right way, its a tiny needle, and the shot is subcutaneous, and the shot isn't painful, while the contents of the shot could interact with your body's immune response to the allergen. 

The idea is to slowly introduce a controlled amount, to build up the body's tolerance to the allergen, and thus keeping it from a histamine freakout that causes the watery eyes, the snot, the sneezing, and the coughing.  

To give the shot, and make sure it doesn't go into the muscle, they pinch the skin on the back of the arm, lifting from the muscle, and then give you the injection.  If it lands in the muscle, then either they used the wrong needle, or they drove it deep. 

A well-given allergy shot is practically unfelt. And while there may be a wee bit of discomfort afterward, it goes away.   But when the tech fucks it up, watch out.  Its a painful shot that will be a painful injection site.

Well, two weeks ago, I went in and got a tech that I had never seen before. Dressed in scrubs, a lab coat, and a surgical cap - all of which is a bit much - she called me in, barked an order at me for name and date of birth, which she insisted I tell her in front of stangers, and the hollared at me through the hall while she pulled shot tray.  All of which was off.  Normally, it's all done one on one, without broadcasting to everybody.

Then she comes in, swabs my arms in the wrong place for the shots, grabs my arm, pinches tightly and then drives the needle deep into my arm.  I yelped because it hurt like Hell.  Then she told me that it hurt because "you tensed up."  Then she repeats the process, only this time I can feel the needle being withdrawn.  And the back of my arm develops these massive welts.  I ask for some hydrocortisone cream to soothe everything back down, and she looks at me, rolls her eyes, and then scrubs cream into my arms. 

Now here's the thing, when they are done correctly, subcutaneously, there is minor discomfort for a couple hours.  But four days in my arms still hurt like a motherfucker, and I still had welts.  It was so bad, I called the doctor and asked if it hurt because the shots didn't go well or what. 

So I went back in week later for my last weekly shot, and damn it, I draw the exact same tech.  Only this time, and verily gunning for me.  I provided her with the information, even though she barked it from the hall, and when she came in with the shots, I asked her which one was the "cats" allergen is in.  

All she had to do was look at the sheet and tell me left or right.  Instead, she says, "Whatever arm it was in last week, it's in the opposite arm this week." 

I said, "I understand that, but I don't remember which arm it was last week because both shots were terribly painful."  

She looks at me.  I don't mean she looked at me, she looked through me, and said "Because you tensed up." 

And then she sets everything down, storms out, and I hear her tell someone else she can't work with me. 

So another tech who has been there forever comes in, gives both shots, and asks what went on.  I asked her to close the door, and we talked. 

I explained that I don't like being barked at for being a patient.  I said that the injections the week before hurt because they went too deep, and that I had called the doctor to tell him that.  But I also said that in the hundreds of these shots I have had since 2013, there have been three sets given to me by people who didn't seem to care what my experience was, and that I didn't want that tech giving me another shot again. 

She listened, and asked, "So what do you think caused this?" and I simply said that the tech and I don't seem to be able to work together, and that I think it would be best for her, and for me, if we didn't have to encounter one another.  And said she could make that happen. 

Frankly, I do not want to encounter her at all. She didn't respect me as a patient in a procedure, and I don't need that.  No one does.  I don't wish her any ill will, we just shouldn't work together. 

Anyway, I am happy to report that I had no problem with the shot sites later on Friday or over the weekend. 

So we'll see what happens in three weeks. 

Summer is Winding Down

 

1970s TV Guide ad artwork for Late Late Early Late Show
Showing of Joan Crawford's Female on the Beach. One of
the BEST summer campy movies of all time.  

Well, here it is towards the end of June, and in Cookie's book, we're on the downside summer.  Yes, I know it just began, but Cookie loves that time of year when each day is a wee bit longer than the last.  But now, each day is a wee bit shorter than the one before it, leading up to that dreaded month that Cookie can bearly function through: NOVEMBER. 

Ugh. 

And let's face it, in ten days or so, Summer merchandise will start going on sale in stores as the fall merchandise and "Back to School Sale" promotions kick into gear. And before you know it, the autumn leaves need to be raked. 

But enough about my problems. Not nearly enough, but you get the idea.

As for Shaker Heights, it is at once divine, and on the other hand damning. 

The divine is, it suits me rather well. There are no struggles here.  The trash gets picked up, the recycling gets picked up, and stores are mostly handy. One bonus is that I never realized what a traffic light Hell Cleveland Heights, University Heights, and South Euclid are. Instead of an hour, the drive to get my allergy shots is 15 minutes from Shaker to Landerwood. 

The downside of this is that if it weren't for the Husband, Cookie would be very lonely.  It's hard being a man who is this old, moving someone a new place, and meeting people, and making new friends.  Oh, you can make friends, but there are a lot of people who want to use you for what they can get out of you.  I found that out the hard way. 

The other hard thing is that so many of the people here are people I knew from grade school. They smile, they are pleasant, but I have always been neither fish nor foul to them.  So I am still not one of them because I was never one of them in the first place. 

Remember, Cookie was always a bit of an outlier.  One foot in one world, and another foot someplace else. 

So I went down to Columbus for a few days, to like my wounds, and be around people who like being around me. It was restorative. 

So here we are.  I am grateful for the experience, but I am still pining for home.

I'll get by. I always do.